The Pain Of Creation

I'm feeling the need to open up once more.

The thesis-thing is going along pretty well and it shouldn't be many more months left. I'm 75 pages strong and aiming at 80, but there will be a lot of re-writing to do. And finally, after more or less straight-forward arguing I am on the same page with my thesis-supervisor.

I think the hardest part about writing academic papers is admitting that you need help. The second hardest would be when she returns my textual love-child with little notes on the side. Like "this is poo" and "you suck".

But the thing that has led us to where we are is once again the dominant feature of my life and the reason to why I am such a whiny bitch sometimes a little temperamental: pain.

The knee is still waiting to be pointed at with sharp objects and the docs could HURRY UP WITH MY MRI-CALL! So I still am in pain. I don't mind it that much and it is a part of everyday life, and I thought I was coping pretty well until one of my friends kindly pointed out that my appearance bares a striking resemblance to feces. This is how I realized that maybe, just maybe, waking up 5-6 times every night when I adjust the knee in my sleep and grinding mostly soft stuff and the painkillers I have a love affair with right now with my chew-bits might not be the equivalent of "a good nights rest and a sturdy meal". Imagine that.

So I discussed with my supervisor that this is probably one of the main reasons that the text I produce is utter bullshit not of the highest quality she is used to see in my papers, and she presented me with two options. 1) We wait until everything is knifed up and sawed in half and hope it was for the better and then continue or 2) we finish it really fast now and try not to care about the grade it receives.

Guess which one I took. One of the main reasons is that I study according to the old system. The new system would be the implementation of the Bologna Process, which renews the credit system you get for studies. And oh, there is this little other thing. Bologna won't allow students to get credits for previous exams. I have a previous exam from pharmacy and have used it to get credits for my minor and "other supplementary studies". This makes up for 1/4 of my current exam because the old system allows me to use these studies as a supplement. So: when the accomodation period runs out in 1.8.2008 and everyone is forcefully transferred from the old, safe system to the new system, a fourth of my studies that I have gotten for free go Poof!

And I figured because I have a lot of work experience and would've studied a 4-5 year exam in 3 years if I graduate this spring, my possible future employer (hire me, I'm open!) would probably not give my master's thesis the time of the day. And let's face it the phrase "Soooo... did you bring your thesis with you? Can I read it? Can I? I must read it before I can hire you!" is seldom heard in job interviews. My 2 previous employers haven't even bothered to look at my diplomas or pharmaceutical license.

So keep yer thumbs up and fingers crossed because we're goin' in the deep end with this one!