I don't do diets. I don't have the need for diets most of the time and I know I don't have the stamina to keep one up. But I wonder a lot about dieting.
Paleodiet, where you eat like a caveman. Only raw things and eggs and stuff. Completely overlooking the fact that cavemen died at 30-40 years of age.
Waterdiet, where you drink shitloads a lot of water to keep your stomach full so you won't feel hungry.
The flight attendant-diet, where I have no idea what you do but involves lots of asparagus and lemons.
But I've been wondering a lot about one of the longer lived diets, the one where you put yourself in ketoacidosis by not eating any carbs at all. Not one. In the beginning you're not even allowed to eat lettuce and greens because apart from water they apparently contain carbs in some way. I'm not that good on nutrition. You only eat fried/boiled eggs and a lot of meat, chicken and fish. This is supposed to help the body burn fat instead of muscle while you diet.
I've always wondered about 2 particular things with this diet: how can you lose weight by frying everything, and how hard could it be refusing bread and pasta? I could easily do that!
So, with the jaw being what it is, I have had a nicer period for a few weeks where I haven't needed painkillers at all. To keep it that way I have been eating mostly soft and small things. Trying to keep healthy, and trying to remind myself of the only nutritional fact I believe in (a grown human needs to eat 800g - 1,2kg in a day to feel content) I've tried to add fruits and veggies. I've eaten a lot of chicken, which is soft and comes in convenient cubes in salads, minced meat (again small food), fish (soft) and fruits like bananas, grapes, pears (even if I have a hard time gripping this round fruit with my teeth, but it's soft too) and so on. I've been doing fine.
Until.
I saw a little old lady carrying 4 baguettes in front of me, and suddenly my brain froze me, climbed out through my nose, positioned itself right by my ear and shouted "CAAAAAAARBS!". It was very hard not to tackle that arthritic little old lady right then and there. I hadn't even noticed that I had gone a few weeks without eating practically any pasta, rice, potatoes or bread. But let me tell you, even if I didn't try this on purpose: when that carb-craving hits you there's no turning back.
So I went home and had tons and tons of spaghetti (<3 Barilla) and baked. Sami had a piece of cake and I had a cake.
And then there was light.
Things I loathe:
People asking me how the thesis is going. Right now I honestly don't know. I still have no emotional connections with the text and I have no idea whatsoever on what my supervisor's standpoint is. I've become almost as uncomfortable with this question as I have with wedding-questions. It's (almost) up there with "You guys wanna borrow our old decorations and/or buy my old wedding dress and/or leftover glitter from when we made our invitation cards?!". Almost, but not quite.
The joint that cried wolf. I haven't been able to step on it for a week now and I had it ultrasounded today. And it came up that theres nothing wrong with it. I could barely hold still while Doctor-Dad was rolling the ultrasound-stick-thingy over my foot and it came up clean! I got painkillers and I'm not completely convinced. I have noticed that my joints and tendons have a tendency to fake being all good and healthy until they one morning spontaneously combust.
Dad reminding me that even though the ultrasound was clear, Child should not be jumping around in stilettos now, you hear? Damn! I was just gonna wear the satin red ones for the 1st of may lunch!
Me being the only person making a full shift and the evening shift on the last of April. I'm the only student at work and the 1st of may is my party. I don't get to put on my white hat at the ceremony at 18 o'clock on the last of april because I'm at work, I don't get to wear my overalls, don't get to go to any of the parties because they start waaaay before and are in another city. This just sucks incredible amounts of donkeyballs.
Things I love:
I still kind of like working with the thesis. Were it not for the timeline and general sucking of life, I'd enjoy this really much.
1st of may coming up. I bought balloons and stuff. Fruits and bubbly and things.
A bargain! I bought 2 shirts from Soaked In Luxury that were 70% off! I only paid 29 euros! Combined! And now Sami doesn't have to be soaked in my bank-card-bill :)
I was asked, today, if I get paid to fake empathy.
I told her no, I get paid to do my job, and if I suck at it then I fake empathy.
She laughed, and I faked laughing with her instead of at her.
We went to see The Cage vol. 10 Neoblood yesterday. Ultimate figthing, that is. Fun was had by all.
The fist 4 fights were over in half an hour due to for technical or normal knock-outs. Kinda cool but it became a little hilarious when we looked at a guy in the -65kg series riding the other fighter, strangling him until he gave up. It took a helluva long time and it eventually looked like a scene from a Jim Carrey-movie with the losing guy trying to grab the winning one but not quite reaching him.
But the best part, my favourite, was the screams. People screamed directions and whatever came to their mind at the fighters. The best one:
"Feed him fist!"
And then there were others designed to encourage the fighters and remind them what they were there to do, like:
"hit him in the face!". You know, in case they forgot.
"Get out from under there!". While they had been tackled and the other guy was on top of them punching, strangling or whatever. Just so that they wouldn't get the impression that they would win the fight by being on the ground and getting their face punched in.
"Hit him!".So that they'd remember that it was not cool to be semi/totally unconscious and have their ass handed to them.
And the best part was when the fighters greet each others at the beginning of the fight, by high-fiving each other with the gloves or whateve: "You didn't come here to shake his hand boy, now feed him some fist!"
So I started to ask Sami how much he'd pay me if I wouldn't take a very loud liking to the swedish fighters (yelling go, sweden! is a sure way of getting into a fight here), howl at the Everlast-girl or start yelling "Liverhook! Liverhook!" with all I've got.
I'm now up a pair of Everlast women's shorts.
The only disappointment was the main event of the evening. It was between Jarkko "the nordic sledgehammer" latomäki and Furdjel de Windt of the netherlands. And let me just say, The Nordic Sledgehammer behaved more like The Nordic Anvil. They just cuddled each other for 3x5minutes.
Blah.
I love it. I don't know why, but I like every part of this little mermaid piece of pottery. And I found myself a bottle of Franziskaner Weissbier. Have a good friday.
The next time I feel to execute the thought "sillä se lähtee millä tulikin" = It'll go away with what it came, please feel free to fetch a couple of steel-toed boots and I will hand you my groin so you can take a swift kick at it. Because thinking jogging would cure an aching foot was kinda like fucking for virginity.
So now both me and Tapsa are limping around (he did fracture his foot), and Sami's wounds are starting to dry up and peel. We look quite odd as a group.
...is not always everything it's cracked up to be. A couple of days ago I wished noone would "P in our Ool". The one right here beside our house were I swim, you know?
And I got it. Noone peed in the ool.
Someone did however take a shit in the ool.
I just noticed that I make a lot of our conversations public, but apart from my brother, noone on vox has ever really seen Sami. He is like Mrs. Columbo, you always hear about her but never get to see the woman. Except he's a man. But that was a given thing. So would you like to hear a little more about him? I obviously won't post his pictures here because he doesn't want to, and I won't tell you guys where he works because it really doesn't matter. But other than that there are a lot of things to say about this man of mine. He is a lot of things. And a lot of things I'm not. Like:
Athletic. He ran a marathon last year and is planning on taking part in a triathlon this year. He has a black belt in karate, he trains brazilian jiu-jutsu and enjoys wall-climbing. He is a NAUI instructor in scuba-diving and likes to swim. His technique is a bit off but it could be a lot worse. And oh, he also, judging from the last couple of days, likes to be punched in the face. A lot.
Rides a motorbike. And when it's winter and he can't ride his motorbike he talks about it. All the time.
Cooks for me about once a year. But is generally very helpful around the house when he is home. He travels a lot due to his work.
A lot of people tell me he looks like Daniel Craig. Which is a good thing because the day Daniel Craig shows up at my door I am going to have to consider marrying him, but so far I'll settle for the lookalike.
Has the body-fat of an asparagus. I'm serious.
And the hairy face of a blackbear.
And the self-preservation instinct of a dodo.
There's lots more but I think I'll call it quits for now. I started reading this thing through and have a hard time believing I live with a triathlonist James Bond too....
"How was train... what happened to your face?!"
"Oh, that. Dirt-wrestling with the guys! It's nothing"
"Whats Dirt... who the hell bit you in the neck!?"
"One of the guys. You should see the marks I gave him! It's wrestling where anything goes"
"Grown men, biting each other?"
"Well, not all biting, Tapsa probably fractured his ankle, and this other guy almost broke a rib"
"Are you insane? What are you going to say at work?! Ever heard of this thing called self-preservation instinct?! Yappity yappity...."
"It's okay because one of my bosses was there as well. I gave him a black eye!"
Interesting sunday, at the very least.
First we thought we'd improve our condition for Beach08, which is an ongoing project after beach 07 and beach 06 and so on totally failed because I'm lazy. So we went swimming to protect my bone-crampy foot. Sami complained a bit because his face is bruised up again because of all of the shenanigans he's been up to so he couldn't use goggles. I can, and I can still keep my body moving in the water and it was lots of fun for me. It's always a bit depressing thinking about how I used to swim 5-10km trainings every day and now I almost die after 1, but I guess it should kind of go this way when you give up competetive training. And I still managed to get my pulse up to 203bpm while swimming a few sprints, so this proves I still have the heart of a 17-year old girl!
In a jar, on my desk.
We had also invited dinner guests over but 2/3 of them failed to appear because the husband of a friend of mine (whom here the invited two thirds) had woken up in the night to what he thought was a heart-attack. So they spent dinner-time and a bit before and a bit after in a hospital. Luckily it wasn't a heart-attack, but scary anyway since he isn't even thirty and is generally in good health. Juhani however came and fun was had by all.
And so, we are yet again faced with a monday of work since I didn't win the lottery this saturday either. I was sure it would be my turn this time...
