Hey sweetheart, hope you got there okay.
The last few days have been good, things have been going smoothly and I've been keeping really busy. The first day I was only one deep breath away from complete panic, but I'm okay now.
I've been doing a lot of the things I haven't had time to do while working on the thesis 24/7 during the last weeks, like cleaning. Being the anal personality that I am means I've actually done quite a bit of cleaning. Quite a bit as in I think I've erased my fingerprints completely.
I've been thinking about different ways to make cleaning more fun, since there still is a lot left to do. You think we could get me a beer-hat for vacuuming?
I saw the list of programs to tape for you while you're gone, and let me just tell you: with all that crap being taped for a month and a half, we'll probably communicate for the first time around christmas. And even though it wasn't on the list, I also taped Tudors for you. I know how you like your prime-time soft porn historical documentary-like series.
Since I have to get going to work, I guess this first letter will be kind of a quickie.
Love ya.
I'd just like to take this moment, to share with you all, how incredibly convenient it is to have a Dad that works like an encyclopedia on all things concerning life. Especially in career-related matters. Dad really knows everything about how people can get screwed over and how to avoid it.
He is like career-Moses, standing in the middle of the ocean that is my huge job-related issues and questions, calmly waving his legislation-wand, going "Can't touch this".
Thus, also being the MC Hammer of careers, but Moses sounds a lot better.
"I'd like you to sign a new contract on monday"
"Why? I have a valid one"
"I know, but with that raise coming and such, we want to prolong your time of notice to 2 months. It's really difficult to find people to replace good workers in a shorter time."
"Oh, right. Let me think about it 'til monday"
"I'd rather you'd sign it now, but ok. But monday is as far as I can stretch. Plus, it's a good safety for when you get pregnant."
"...for when I..."
"Hah! Look at her face! Hahaa, dude, you're pale. This is fucking priceless!"
"So you're not trying?"
"...not trying... to..."
So this is why I've been asked to do so much labwork lately. They're all still waiting for the day when I'll say no thanks to working with aether and collodium!
6 weeks is nothing, right?
It's a long time to spend by yourself. Don't get me wrong, I'm no hermit and I have friends, lots of them and darling ones, but it's still a long time. And being an old pro at this already I should be able to cope just fine.
But I suck at this.
And the worst ever part is to come home to this place that was filled with his smile and his stuff in the morning and that is now filled with nothing.
No stuff.
No smile.
No sound.
Nothing.
I hate this.
-
What is in the back seat of your car right now?
Nothing. Not even dust since we vacuumed the baby a week ago. -
When was the last time you threw up A while ago after a night at the officers club with Joni and Juhani
-
Whats your favorite curse word?
I use hell and the f-word far too much, but I don't think I have a lovechild as far as swearwords go. Although sometimes when I get seriously pissed (mostly while in traffic) I use every single one I know in a row. That's a time when I appreciate that I know a lot of them. And that the car is sound-proof. -
Name three people who made you smile today?
I haven't met that many people today. Um... Sami, that girl at the jewelers who is always super nice to us, and Samis sister. -
What were you doing at 08h00 this morning?
Woke up to take my allergymedicine. God I hate pollen. And nights like the last one. Nightmare after nightmare after nightmare. -
What were you doing thirty minutes ago?
Reading about Felix Fritzl who was the youngest of the austrian cellar-family. They had secretly taken him to McD and he is said to have enjoyed his very first happy meal very much. I'm so glad because the whole thing really breaks my heart and I still can't quite comprehend it. I really hope they don't find any corpses behind the new rooms they found cemented shut in the cellar-cell. I think I'd just go mad because of all that amount of awful. -
Have you ever been to a strip club?
I don't think I have. Although once I accidentally walked into one because they were advertising Super Cool Ladies Theme Nights and it didn't look like a strip joint at all. No, wait, it's coming to me. I have. I forgot. -
What is the last thing you said out loud?
"Kiitos". -
When is your birthday?
why is this relevant? -
What is the best ice cream flavour?
I'm a chocoholic all the way. -
What was the last thing you had to drink?
Lidl's sparkling mineral water. It's actually quite good. -
What are you wearing right now?
The oldest pair of training pants I have. I've had them for about 15 years, they're supposed to be a size XS but standing 175cm long today I still have to fold them. And yes, they look like I've been wearing them for 15 years. Plus a Billabong-wifebeater and a knitted shirt from Benetton. -
What is the last thing you ate?
Hamburger buns with cheese and pickles. We had some left over. -
Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
nope. -
When was the last time you ran?
Right before the last time I injured my foot. Haven't done any sports since, actually, and it's starting to show. -
What's the last sporting event you watched?
Canada - Russia hockey. I was so happy for the russians when they won, they really fought for it. And it was a lot of fun watching toothless, bear-like, sweaty guys crying. -
What's the last sport you played?
Um... I can't remember when I would've played a team sport. Do drinking games count? -
Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on myspace?
No Myspace. It scares the shit out of me. -
Ever go camping?
Hah! Oh yeah, I do that just as much as I go fishing, bearhunting and drinking cider. -
Do you have a tan?
My so called "tan" right now would be the result of a har effort of spending time on a beach even though it's freezing, and has resulted only in the fact that I'm slightly less see-through and almost colored like a real person. -
Have you ever lost anything down a toilet?
No. I've dropped too much expensive stuff to be stupid enough to take it to a place where I could drop it, break it and lose it at the same time. -
What is your guilty pleasure?
Two gentlemen named Ben and Jerry -
Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?
On msn yes. Like 14-years-old lots of them. -
Do you drink your soda from a straw?
Yes. And if we had straws I'd drink everything else through them too. -
What are you doing tomorrow?
revising the litterary references to my thesis. Followed by a magical night of ironing. -
Where is your mom right now?
In the kitchen, I'd imagine. In their house. The kitchen is the mommy-hangout so she has to be there. -
Look to your left, what do you see?
A bald dude getting frustrated with his computer, the wires from my headphones I used to Skype with my godmother just a minute ago. Man it was good to hear from them! I've grown closer with my godmother during the last few years, we've always had a bit of a distanced relationship since they live in Germany, and, let's face it: we don't. But we've bonded over these last years and I really like hearing from them every now and then. -
What color is your watch?
It's red, it's plastic, and it's the watch-part of my Polar pulsemeter. The only one of my watches that has batteries right now. -
What do you think of when you think of Australia?
Kangaroos and Great Barrier Reef. Even though I've never been there. -
Ever ridden on a roller coaster?
Yeah. Not a big fan of things that go upside down with me in them. -
What is your birthstone?
No clue. Probably the most expensive one. -
Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive-through?
I like to sit in or take it home with me. Eating in a car is no fun for anyone. -
What is your favorite number?
I have a lot of stupid things but this far I haven't ventured yet. -
Do you have a dog?
No.But I do have asthma -
Last person you talked to on the phone?
Godmother Anja. We had to cut it short because apparently there was a beaver on their pier. -
Have you met anyone famous?
Noone by international standards. I've met Mike Monroe from Hanoi Rocks at the grocery store in my old home town a few times. He's nice and he always shares a word or two even when he doesn't know you. -
Any plans today?
Weeds on tv! -
How many provinces have you lived in?
wrong country dude. Although technically, all of Finland has been a Russian province. -
Ever go to college?
Right now it seems like I'll never be doing anything else. -
Where are you right now?
The multifunctional room of no purpose. Also lovingly called The Office. -
Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
Sami's employer -
Last song listened to?
I think Kat De Lunas Run The Show. energetic. -
Are you allergic to anything?
Pollen, animals, chlorine (which made my last years of competetice swimming really interesting), generally life. -
Favourite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
It comes and goes. Right now my kitten-skull-boots. Grown up, yes I know. Comfortable and nice on the knee? That too. -
Taste in your mouth right now?
That indian food we had about 8 hours ago. -
Are you jealous of anyone?
I have to go with Lies. The thesis-finishers. -
Is anyone jealous of you?
Oh sweet lord I wish someone was. I'd pay them to be! -
Do you love anyone?
Tons of people -
Do any of your friends have children?
Not yet no. And I think very few will in the foreseeabl future. -
Do you eat healthy?
I try to but I love dessert more than I love a smokin' body. -
What do you usually do during the day?
Work. Write the thesis and go to school to get kicked around about it. And lunch with the ladies. -
Do you hate anyone right now?
I dislike a loooot of people, but I try to steer clear of the hating. -
Do you own any big sunglasses?
I own a pair that makes Sami refer to me as his bumblebee -
Have you ever been to Six Flags?
I was to a really big one in Kansas City at the beginning of this decade. Can't remember what it was other than big and impressive and full of rides I didn't wanna go on, but it might as well have been six flags. -
How did you get one of your scars?
The one on my chin I got from rocking my chair when my mom told me not to. I fell backwards and hit my teeth right through that little area between my lower lip and my chin and totally spoiled my big sister's birthdayparty. I got to wear a donald duck-plaster shaped like a plus for weeks!
Sami is going away again, this time to do actual work, marketing in Far Far Away. He'll be leaving on wednesday and he'll be gone for 6 weeks.
These long trips spur a lot of emotions that are hard to communicate. Like anger. You get a little pissed because he's leaving for such a long time. He doesn't have the attitude towards it I think he should have and so on.
You also start to worry about stupid things, like what if I get it in my head to iron all the curtains while they're still hanging on the wall and I slip and I fall and the iron hits me in the head and he isn't here to rescue me? I'll be found when the stench reaches the hallway. Urgh.
You get a little sad, because duh, 6 weeks of loneliness.And how do you communicate that you're happy he gets this opportunity but that he totally owes me 6 weeks of vacuuming? How do you ask him how he would like to be told if one of the grandparents we all have dies or something? I might need you in the middle of the night, when it's dark and I wake up from a nightmare. Who am I gonna tell about this stupid guy that came in to work today?
Will he keep warm without me saying so, and will he keep safe? I know there are a few other guys from his work going too since it is a team-thing, but what do they know, right? Remember to eat, okay?
When he says "you'll be fine, I'm coming back eventually" how do you get him to understand that no, actually, I'll be miserable for a week or so, then I'll be okay, and right there about half way through it'll really start to suck and when you come home I'll be irritated because I've grown used to not having anyone around and you are totally in the way of my visual space.
It's hard to come up with how to tell him all these things, and to say I love you, I'm happy for you but your work really sucks.
So, yesterday, I walked up to him and kicked him in the leg.
He totally got it.
I could make a career as a motivational speaker. Because I take full credit for the following thanks to my post yesterday:
We won the bronze medal in the hockey WC:s in Canada.
We did take it up the tailpipe from canada and russia who are playing for the gold and silver, but at least we kicked some sand into the swedish skates.
And you gotta love Antero Mertaranta, the speaker.
Yeah.
Since all of you must have also spent your last few weeks watching hockey, you probably know that Finland played Russia for a place in the finals yesterday.
And they kindly handed our asses to us. So. Team Finland, I'd like to adress you all with the following statement:
Skate, you fucking losers!
What the hell happened?! Do you guys know that the whole idea of being in that country that has a flag that looks almost like cannabis sativa, is to motherf skate! And score goals!
Yes, that little net-thing there with the red metal bars holding up the net is something you wanna hit. Not to break free from all the guys from the other tema holding you, making a sprint for the goal, finally using those goddamn skates, getting closer, almost passing the goalie.... only to pass the damn puck to someone equally useless who also seems to think that this is an obstacle we all need to pass in order to turn around and start all over in our own corner.
What the f***?!
Into the goal, not right next to it, no smack in the middle of the belly of the goalie, into the goddamn goal you jerks!
And since you useless pieces of scrap metal and jock straps lost against russia you get to lose against sweden. Again!
Every last single time we meet sweden, the country of maypoles and discustingly happy and oddly sexually comfortable beings, we, a nation born to fight at every given chance, give up! This was of course anticipated when we "beat" Norway 3-something. You know it should be like 30-something, right? You almost lost to the Bahamas of the nordic region you pussies!
What's the point in watching a bunch of unemplyed toothless guys skating around in canada taking it up the tailpipe once again?
Pull it together, you're embarrassing us all.
That's all I had to say, thank you for gathering here for this official statement, and I would like to, with these closing words, wish Thousandlakez a big ol' bunch of luck in the bronze fight tomorrow. Break a leg.
A swedish one.
What do you do when you get a crush on someone?
Submitted by Desi.
Last time I borrowed a cigarette and a lighter from someone at a party and asked this one guy out on the balcony with me to keep me company. While out there I threw away the cigarette and told him that I actually don't even smoke and kissed him.
And here we are, getting married. Imagine that.
You know how women get baby-fever?
Have you ever seen it in men?
We were at this get-together yesterday with Sami's coworkers and their wives/fiancées/girlfriends. One of his colleagues had a baby about half a year back and so they brought him with them, and as soon as they entered the room it was obvious: there were at least 2 men with a severe case of baby-fever.
One of them is my age and so is his wife, and they already have a 3-year old. But as soon as the baby entered he was grinning like Santa on Prozac. He immediately started scooching his chair closer to the baby and so I turned mine to his wife and to give her the "look at your husband go!"-look. She was already giving me the "Oh God I know and we've totally discussed it or rather he's been nagging me about it but we've already got that one and she's at a difficult age right now and I graduat within a year and don't really know if a pregnancy is a good idea right now"-face.
Then there was this other guy. He and his girlfriend are also getting married, a few weeks after us, in fact, and he was all "Who's a trooper! You are! Yes, you are! Yes, you are..." and throwing hopeful glances at his future wife who was all "There appears to be a midget in the corner.".
