Jenni's blog

Getting Off To A Good Start

nobody@vox.com(Jenni) — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 00:30:55 -0700

On sunday, we went to church to hear our wedding announced. Since we are, unfortunately, very mobile people, we had asked that the announcement be held in both Turku and Helsinki because we weren't sure where we'd be. Eventually I ended up taking the train from Turku, where I had been for the final fitting of the dress, home to Helsinki. I then collected Sami from a bachelor party held for one of his co-workers who will get married roughly a month after us and we headed home. Since we live a bit off the map, we had to get up early and I was a bit nervous whether or not Sami would have a hangover. I myself had a morning-monster-moment and couldn't pry my eyes open until we were at the church gate. So.

There we sit, stand and kneel. I'm incredibly nervous because this is kind of exciting. And....

It never came.

The priest forgot. My Mom and Dad were at the Turku-end of this ordeal, and that priest forgot too! wtf? The Turku-priest, who is the one who is going to eventually marry us in a few weeks, had even forgotten he was invited to the wedding. Last time we tried to schedule an appointment to talk about it all he had our wedding day pinned for 2.8, which would be a month too early. I'm starting to get a little nervous about whether or not he remembers to show up on that saturday a few weeks from now.

As for the announcements, I don't really know. Neither of us thought it was that big of a deal, we figured it must happen a lot because around here there are all of a handful of catholic weddings a year. You'd think they'd be able to remember? Apparently not. Anyway, we didn't go in there and ask for a rematch, and we figured if both ends, if they remember they were supposed to announce this thing, think the other end has done it, we should be fine.

Right?

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I Might Seem Like An Overachiever, Apparently.

nobody@vox.com(Jenni) — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 00:42:06 -0700

"so this is it. Your diploma?"

"Yup."

"So now you have two. You have a job, and you're getting married."

"Well, yeah. Although, technically I kind of don't have a job since I'm looking for something else. Something more, you know, to match that degree."

"I swear, with all this, the diplomas and the marriage and jobs and your age and stuff, if you get pregnant within a week I'm going to strangle you!"

"Umm..."

"I mean, congratulations!"

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Having An Awesome Time Failing The Diet

nobody@vox.com(Jenni) — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 10:13:35 -0700

I've seen most action this week when we went to see The Mummy (version 3.0) on wednesday. Okay, so the movie sucked and we were all in all 10 people in the theatre, but this is besides the point.

The actual point (no pun intended, just wait for it) was the couple in the corner.

I'd just like to say, first of all, that a movie screen x meters by x meters wide, kind of illuminates the theatre every now and then. So If you're gonna have sex then you need to know that we all can see you. And even if we wouldn't be able to see you, your girlfriend apparently is the screamer of screamers. And taking off your shirt didn't do much to help your case.

So I hope you enjoyed the movie because I sure as hell had a ball.

Other highlights include the cheats from my diet, which would be that pit-stop at the indian joint (love them!), lasagna yesterday and the sushi I forced Nina to accompany me on today. So basically I kinda sucked at this, but I still have been feeling a lot better, you know? And I'm glowing like mad.

You can really recognize a friend by the stuff they do. Like Nina coming to sushi with me even if she hates it. I even tried to give her a way out by offering her to pick the restaurant, but "I don't care, just make sure I get fed soon or I'll start offing people" sounded like "sushi? Why yes, I'd love to!" to me. She was a real trooper about it, though. We had a little trouble ordering and when Nina asked the waiter to "seduce me with the best you've got because I don't really like this crap" he leaped at the chance and instantly tried to offer us the shrimp special, if you know what I mean. The chef wanted to throw in a little mayo, if you know what I'm saying. So we told them we were more lobster-people and that we probably didn't have enough money to tip them for a shrimp special, if you hear what I'm saying.

I loved my food, and Nina concluded with "no dude, this still sucks". You'd think it would be all the raw fish, but apparently it's the Nori. Disgust of seaweed is, to me, almost as funny as people who are afraid of pigeons. But she was a real trooper about it. Even when I laughed and pointed at her for 15 minutes straight.

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Things On Tuesday

nobody@vox.com(Jenni) — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 03:44:51 -0700

Loathing:

Funeral coming. Sami's grandma died of liver cancer this morning. Luckily, from what I've been told, it was peaceful.

Rain. Yet again.

Head-ache that makes my brain want to jump out through my nostrils and strangle me unconscious.

Loving:

We finally have our rings. The goldsmith evened out and polished my engagement ring, and for that ring to go from how it was looking after only a year of active use to how shiny and splendid it looks now makes me wanna kiss the guy.

The roses haven't withered and died. Yet. And they're still gorgeous.

Having time to air my anal personality by cleaning, polishing and throwing out stuff. I'm 3 days away from Feng Shui:ing the apartment empty.

Time to sleep. Have had nightmares for a week straight now, which might have something to do with the frickin' bassdrum that is my brain, but at least I don't have to get up and go to work.

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Denial? Is That A River In Egypt?

nobody@vox.com(Jenni) — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 02:30:43 -0700

Elokuu 026

On the 16th, we had been engaged for a year. Mostly we spent that rainy day cherishing the memories of sun, because a year ago on that date we were in Thailand. We both agreed getting engaged is something really special, but how about that sun over there! We had a wonderful romantic time and I won't bother you with the details, just wanted to share these beautiful roses he got me. Even if I'm kinda worried about my near and dear ones conspiring against me with these pink things. Still: gorgeous. As is the guy who handed them to me.

The diet is now on day 2, and I must say one thing: I suck at this. I've never been on a diet, and I seriously suck at denying myself food. Sami tried to argue that the fact that I watched "Floyd's India", "Pressure Cook", "Cooked", "License to Grill" and a fifth show I can't remember, and then went to bed with a cookbook probably didn't count as an encouraging thing during a diet. What does he know, right?

My muscles are already a bit sore, and I kind of think it might be this diet. I've also started thinking about things like, you know, essential fatty acids, carbs, iron and such, which don't count into this diet. At least for the time being because I didn't remember to buy spinach, which might help with the iron-thing. But then again, the part of my brain that has started to deteriorate faster went Carb Schmarb! It's just a week!

But I'm starting to think a chocolate IV and an Eiffel tower of toast is something that is within reason to ask after a week of this. If I last that long.

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Detox!

nobody@vox.com(Jenni) — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 07:37:40 -0700

On vacation, what to do? What to do, what to do...

Detox!

I know detox is a thing that has been scientifically proven as bullshit several times. I know, I know. And belive you me, I'd be the last person in the universe doing something that involves sucking on different kinds of algae 3 times a day. Or whatever it is they do.

And ain't nobody coming close to me with the intention of doing a "cleanse" through my butt.

But! I try to keep my mind open, and so, when I found this detox that was peach/sitrus-flavored and only required me to drink 1,5 l/day of it I started thinking about how this might not suck in several different shapes and sizes. So I figured I don't get enough liquids anyway so this mus be just what I was looking for! And it promises to remove all the excess liquids and goo from my body, and by then I was all, well that must be what all this mushy stuff on my body is, count me in!

I've been doing it for a few days now, and let me tell you. I must be glowing. My cousin Laura spent friday with me and she noticed my glowing too. The detox-info says some people might experience more trips to the toilet because of all the toxins removing themselves from the body. So as I embarked on yet another trip to the can, Laura pointed out that I'm glowing about 3-4 times more than she has been doing during the entirety of this movie that we are watching, and that I must be a frickin' lighthouse by the time of the wedding. And I am, mind you. It's not the 1,5 l in 3 goes that makes me piss like a racehorse, it's all those toxins exiting the holy temple that is my body.

Laura also pointed out the sheer idiocy of my detox, and I pointed out that she didn't get the whole beauty of ~~toiletathons~~ glowing like mad. SHe might be right, though. She is one of the most intelligent people I know. I swear, it scares me. It must scare her too. I bet she craps herself everytime she opens up a book of quantum physics and realizes she knows most of it intuitively.

My main point being, she's smart like NASA, and she might be right. But I do feel a bit of a sparkle! coming on.

To add to the madness, I figured I'd do something I've always wanted to try during this first week of my holiday: the living foods diet.

Okay, just hear me out, it's not as disgusting as it sounds. I think it's actually just a version of the paleodiet, which is just as insane as it sounds, but I don't intend to keep this thing up and running for more than a week. The name just means I can eat as much as I want, and as often as I want, but anything can't be prepared. I figured I'd keep milk in my diet because I need my calcium. But other than that it's just fruit, veggies and nuts for a week. Except if I get completely insane, which is when Sami hits the ~~emergency button~~ toaster button and feeds me carbs.

My main concern is that Laura brought me a gorgeous bag of herbs, and I can't use them. I've been panicking about our reserve of actual chinese tea running out, and she brought me some more. Which I can't drink.

This might just be a really stupid idea.

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About Blogs And People Of The Past.

nobody@vox.com(Jenni) — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 12:13:15 -0700

There are a lot of things I dislike about Facebook. And a lot of things I hate.

A few things about it, however, are wonderful and keep me using it. Like the Twitter-function (go on, Wiki it and find out where your status updates originate from). And people from my past, like Jerry . Jerry is a doll. I came to know him some years ago through my main galpal Juhani. Jerry once asked me out, but I was kind of a snob, and too panicked out about the fact that I was Single! for the first time ever in my adult life. I never went, and it kinda died out. He is one of the most easy-going people I've met, has a wonderful dry sense of humour I remember enjoying, and he is a writer.

Through the last year or so (my blogiversary was in may) I've come to respect bloggers. I enjoy other peoples blogs sometimes more than my own, and I respect them for what they are. It takes a lot to spill your guts for everyone to see, and I realize what an outlet for frustration a blog can be, and how therapeutic writing is. Jerry, however, is more than a blogger, he also writes for Imperiumi . More than free VIP-tickets for the metal-festival that is Tuska, this means he knows how to write. His blog shows it, and it's enjoyable and easy to read. As long as you speak finnish.

Sorry Lies, I think you really would've enjoyed the Imperiumi-site...

So here's to you, Jerry. I'm sorry we lost contact, I enjoy your blog, and I hope you've been kissed a million times since we last met.

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Solar Eclipse

nobody@vox.com(Jenni) — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 21:55:23 -0700

Taulu

Sami loves taking pictures. Above all of me sleeping and drooling on countless things. But a week (or it might have been a couple?) ago we had a solar eclipse over here. Yours truly was working and missed it, but Sami took a gazillion pictures of it. I gave him hell for looking at the sun through nothing but the polar-filter of the camera, but after seeing these pics I really can't complain. We both love this one most, and are thinking of making it into something we can hang on the wall. If you wanna use the pic you're gonna have to ask permission first.

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You Want A Bite Of This Here Gumball?

nobody@vox.com(Jenni) — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 10:29:07 -0700

Can't wait for the MRI next monday. As I wrote last tuesday I've been having a bit of a head-ache-thing going again. This morning I was back on the Diet du Soup 'n' Noodles. Whoop-de-doo.

I must be such a hoot to work with right now. I'm tired, cranky and hungry all the time. I swear, at lunchtime, I'm waiting for that microwave to go off like it would be signaling the second coming of christ. Which pretty much is what warm soup was today.

It's okay at work, because they know my situation, and someone even asked me today: "You tired?"
"yeah, kind of. My head is killing me. It feels like my whole brain is pulsating and hitting the walls of my cranium"
"You on the meds?"
"Yup."
"Excellent"

I expect them to be hooking me up with a monogrammed morphine pump sometime at the end of the week.

But!

The reason I'm writing this is to tell all and any of you guys reading: please don't try to help. I know you care, and all that, but trust me, with 8 years of "clear erosion and destruction of bone" under my belt, I kinda know my thing, 'kay? People telling me how many different kinds of soups there are make me wanna severe my left leg and beat them a little bit with it. The same goes for people who encourage me with "but it's a good diet, you know?". The "how 'bout some boiled veggies? No? Spaghetti? No? Ice-cream? No?"-people are never far from getting an LCN-gel enhanced nail in their eye socket.

It's not so much the food as it is the actual chewing motion. Medium rare steaks are just a whole lot more ripping and chewing motion. But still, even boiled carrots are about as good a suggestion as asking me if I would like to insert this here cactus into my rectum? Would that help? No?

There are a few great things though. Me not being able to kiss Sami doesn't mean he stops kissing me. And then there are the Olympics. I've been watching all I can considering I work all evenings this week, and maaaaan have I been loving the action. I loved USA/China-basketball, especially Yao Ming, who towers above 220cm players like they are 5-year olds at the playground. I've been watching judo, shooting (yay for the first Finnish gold!), wrestling and loving the beauty of aquatic sports like synchro. And most of all, I've been loving Hanna-Maria Seppälä (told you she'd deliver) and Golden Boy Michael Phelps. In 2004 he was still a bit arrogant, and a bit of a diva. In 2008 he is humble and a true olympian, and I had a really hard time trying not to weep when I saw him in 200 butterfly. Same goes for Federica Pellegrini of Italy in 200 freestyle. Okay, there I did cry a bit because she was so surprised and so happy that she broke down in tears herself. And I might have fallen off the sofa while watching that final heat. And I might have upset the neighbours with my "COME ON! FOCUS! DO IT!!!!".

But other than that I've been cool about it.

Oh yeah, almost forgot. If anyone reading this has any idea who orders me free magazines, please let me know. First I got this magazine for people over 50, detailing what finnish older z-list people are doing, and how the politicians spend their summer holiday. I kinda went woot? but a free magazine is a free magazine. Today I received this gossip-magazine that no-one confesses to reading but it sells like a million copies, and whenever you catch someone with it they claim they only bought it for the killer tv-extra. I'm loving the ~~gossip~~ tv-extra.

So thanks.

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You Wan't Me To Dress Up As WHAT?!

nobody@vox.com(Jenni) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 00:40:32 -0700

On saturday I was kidnapped from work. The event? My bachelorette party.

I have always told people that pink is fine on other people, but I myself "wouldn't die alone in the woods in anything pink".

So they dressed me up as a fairy in pink tulle, and took me to the woods.

I have no pictures and haven't actually even seen any of them yet, but there are about 500 of them and they will "be used for further purposes". So! As soon as I buy them off of Ebay I'll post some here.

All in all I had a wonderful time. As wonderful as you can have in pink leggings (or skirt-longjohns), a pink tulle dress, pink glittery wings, a silver magic ~~wang~~ wand and a tiara with pink hearts all over. I made it my business to call everyone "smoochypants" and ask them to embrace the ~~gay~~ fairyism. Alcohol might have had something to do with it. We pranced around in the woods and had a playful competition in olympic events like throwing petanque, fishing magnetic fish and building a tower out of fire-wood. Playful and friendly is always an easy thing to execute when half the people there have been into competetive sports for about half their lives. Me, with my handball, swimming, kung-fu and kickboxing-background threatened my team with enough violence for us to win. Naturally.I might have used the phrase "second best is the first loser" enough times, emphasizing on the "don't make me come over there and bust a cap"-motivational factor.

We also had a picnic on a fairy mountain, with a fantastic view of Tervakoski (which is where they hijacked me). I pranced around to the best of my ability, due to ~~the copious amounts of beer I had been given since 11 am~~ the fact that I truly felt the glitter flowing in my veins up on that magic mountain.

From there on we headed to Annika's parents place,where the rest of the party (all in all 10 fairies in training) joined us and we ~~boozed up to the best of our abilities~~ spent a darling time discussing pink things and unicorns. Annika's younger brother even serenaded me! He has the voice of several gods and he sang Memories to me. Sami is going to have a hard time beating that one. We ate, drank and laughed, and later on went to the local pub to sing karaoke. Although describing what we all did as "singing" does not only require elite verbal skills but also a really healthy sense of irony.

Later on in the night, as we got back, I was presented with a place to sleep. Me and Annika were going to sleep in this old storagehouse (or "outbuilding" as the dictionary calls it) which has been made sleepable (during the summer). The girls had prepared a white bed with roses on it, beside it, and hanging from the surrounding drapes. I'm pretty sure there were some under the bed as well, it wouldn't have been girly enough otherwise.

I had a fabulous time, even in pink, and as I stood on the yard, watching the stars, heavily drunk and listened to all the drunken laughter from the house, the "No, I wanna have that pillow" and the "Anyone seen my wad of pink tulle", all I could think of was one thing. I wouldn't have had that house filled with anyone else.

Except maybe The Scandinavian Hunks

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