3 posts tagged “food”
I don't do diets. I don't have the need for diets most of the time and I know I don't have the stamina to keep one up. But I wonder a lot about dieting.
Paleodiet, where you eat like a caveman. Only raw things and eggs and stuff. Completely overlooking the fact that cavemen died at 30-40 years of age.
Waterdiet, where you drink shitloads a lot of water to keep your stomach full so you won't feel hungry.
The flight attendant-diet, where I have no idea what you do but involves lots of asparagus and lemons.
But I've been wondering a lot about one of the longer lived diets, the one where you put yourself in ketoacidosis by not eating any carbs at all. Not one. In the beginning you're not even allowed to eat lettuce and greens because apart from water they apparently contain carbs in some way. I'm not that good on nutrition. You only eat fried/boiled eggs and a lot of meat, chicken and fish. This is supposed to help the body burn fat instead of muscle while you diet.
I've always wondered about 2 particular things with this diet: how can you lose weight by frying everything, and how hard could it be refusing bread and pasta? I could easily do that!
So, with the jaw being what it is, I have had a nicer period for a few weeks where I haven't needed painkillers at all. To keep it that way I have been eating mostly soft and small things. Trying to keep healthy, and trying to remind myself of the only nutritional fact I believe in (a grown human needs to eat 800g - 1,2kg in a day to feel content) I've tried to add fruits and veggies. I've eaten a lot of chicken, which is soft and comes in convenient cubes in salads, minced meat (again small food), fish (soft) and fruits like bananas, grapes, pears (even if I have a hard time gripping this round fruit with my teeth, but it's soft too) and so on. I've been doing fine.
Until.
I saw a little old lady carrying 4 baguettes in front of me, and suddenly my brain froze me, climbed out through my nose, positioned itself right by my ear and shouted "CAAAAAAARBS!". It was very hard not to tackle that arthritic little old lady right then and there. I hadn't even noticed that I had gone a few weeks without eating practically any pasta, rice, potatoes or bread. But let me tell you, even if I didn't try this on purpose: when that carb-craving hits you there's no turning back.
So I went home and had tons and tons of spaghetti (<3 Barilla) and baked. Sami had a piece of cake and I had a cake.
And then there was light.
...Or, Jenni Tells You How To Live-posts.
Since Joni turned twenty today (the big 2-0) and you can easily find out on his page why this is almost better than turning 18 over here, I feel I have responsibilities. Above the responsibility to publicly humiliate him whenever possible. Preferably by singing.
Anyway. The parental unit is leaving him without proper care (aka. Mom and Dad) and he might have to realize that the freezer isn't self-filling. He might become familiar with things like grocery-stores and such, because one can not survive on burgers alone. So stop thinking about it because I knew you were. So, here is my part on how to survive a day, for all of you. If you don't like it, feedback may be left in the compartment situated under most office-desks.
First.
Go to the produce-section. Find ginger and coriander. The coriander is in a pot on the left. And the ginger is the funny-looking branch-thingie right there by the onions. See it? Yes, that one. And then grab the chinese spring-onions from there on the top shelf. Good, we're set because we have garlic at home. Trust me, you do.
Head for the meat-section and grab 400g of minced chicken, aka "broiskujauhis" (<- it's finnish, don't bother).
Then go for the cans, Right there you'll find coconut-milk, a 400g can of it.
Finally, buy oodles of noodles.
When home: chop the onions, garlic and fry them with the meat. Cut off roughly 1/3-1/2 of the coriander-bush you bought and chop it up while the chicken fries. Turn on the heat on the noodle-water.
Peel your ginger. Use a knife and cut of the hard outer bark-like layer. Peelers are for nerds. Use big, impressive knives in case someone is watching and make sure you make a lot of noise chopping things. That'll always leave the impression of you being a true chef. Then chop, crush or do whatever you feel is the most convenient way to pulverize a few centimeters worth of ginger.
By now your chicken should be good 'n' fried, so pour in the can of coconut-milk, the ginger and the coriander. Let it simmer for a while. By now your water should also be boiling, so throw in the seasoning bags that come with them and chuck in the noodles too. Remember to stir yer sauce every once in a while. And you did remember the salt, right?
When your noodles are ready, so is your sauce. Eat.
All this so you won't have to eat yellow snow.
Last weekend we went to a wedding. People really put their best foot forward for weddings. They came in their best dresses and gowns. Me? Well, I came in my best panther-outfit.
As you can see, there was skilled lighting, There was also wine and punch, and a bar. There was good food and a beautiful, very romantically dressed bride in her pink ruffled wedding-dress. Present was also a groom and their 1,5 month-old baby, who didn't cry at all when I held him. I think he was a bit hypnotized by all the lights. Obviously lamps are waaay cool when you've only experienced them for a few weeks. For the first time ever, I didn't panic when something tiny that might just poo at any second was placed in my lap. He is going to be a good man someday, because the first thing he did when placed on my arms, was grab my boob. Men...
I ate a lot(!), and danced even more. It was wonderful, because there were so many other couples on the floor that nobody noticed my total incapability to dance, and Sami didn't even comment on it once. I also danced with this other guy, who they call Bumblebee (like the transformer!), and he didn't either. Mainly because he seemed to be completely hammered at the time. I was lying, he wasn't called Bumblebee like the transformer, he is called that because he is short, so built that he looks out of proportion, like a bumblebee, and apparently has the patience of one when he is under the influence of alcohol. Personally, I thought he was sweet.
Other than that, we got to spend a little time together, Sami and me, since I wasn't working this weekend. It was very, very nice to just lay back and enjoy being around each other. For the last couple of days, we've been eating really well, and he has impressed me multiple times by washing the laundry, doing the dishes, wrapping christmas gifts and such. I know, I know, you're saying that they're just regular household chores. And I can tell you he does stuff otherwise too, it's just that for the last few days, for some reason, I've been really touched by how he is going out of his way to make me feel comfortable.
As for me? Personally, I've taken a turn for the better, and the jaw-pain is gone for the moment. I was ridiculously happy to get a refill on my painkillers, because that meant I was able to take them a few days in a row, which broke the back of the pain-circle (it starts hurting, I can't eat, I get stressed, It hurts more if I try to eat and if I don't eat I just take out the stress in my sleep by clenching my jaw, which leads to it hurting more etc...). So, I was able to eat solid food again, got me a bit of energy, slept better and eventually, after a few days the headache just left me alone and I noticed that everyone else doesn't suck that much anymore. It still gets tired, but you can't have it all, can you? Plus, there are people who are way worse off than me, so I really can't complain.
I passed my second german exam and am able to bench-press 40kg multiple times already! And I only have 6 days of work left before I get to celebrate christmas and have me both some ham and smoked turkey, mmm....
I thought I'd bog about christmas someday when I have the time, but I'd be really interested in how you guys celebrate christmas? When does Sinterklaas arrive? What do you americans eat at christmas and do you celebrate it on the 24th (like we do over here) at all or does it all concentrate on the 25th? Tell me, blog!
