7 posts tagged “roman schatz”

I noticed today that by googling Roman Schatz doesn't lead to hints of upcoming books, but a very real link to my blog, more exactly to this very normal post. So by now he probably knows of me.

I think this increases the success-rate in my plan to marry him exponentially.

And anyway, restriction orders are just another way of saying I Love You.

Call me!

Yesterday we went to this sports-outdoors-camping-diving-shop called "Equipment". I was mildly amused since uri-bags and dried food isn't my thing, but then I glanced over at this one shelf in the back.

 I was in Lonely Planet Heaven.

I tried to argue why we need the complete series at home, but eventually Sami won and we decided we could start buying Lonely Planets according to where we travel. So I left with Lonely Planet Maldives and Finland (just for the hell of it). I've been reading the latter and it's really, really good.

They even have a part called "The national psyche". Of course there's a lot of talk about sisu, roughly translated as "guts", which was anticipated since there isn't a guidebook out there about Thousandlakez that wouldn't bring up this issue.But there are also parts I love here, and parts that better explain finns than I have been able to. Like this:

There's a depressive streak in Finns, more so than in Swedes or Norwegians. Even Finnish summer pop hits can sound like the singer's just backed over their dog or worse, and themes of lost love or melancholy are favoured.

True. If you wanna sing karaoke about anything nice and sunny, you better bring your own tape. It was funny because I recognized myself in some parts after wondering why the author would write about such obvious things. One of my other favourites was this:

While the "silent Finn" stereotype has been exaggerated over the years, it's certainly true that nobody gets nervous if there's a gap in a conversation. Sitting in a sauna for 20 minutes with your best friend, saying nothing, is considered perfectly normal.

Here I thought why would anyone think they'd need to yap on about... oh, right.

Roman Schatz discussed this topic in his book too, although from another point of view:

The secret is simple. The Finnish concept of politeness works differently than in most other countries. In most cultures it's considered polite to communicate. In Finland it's polite to leave people alone. Why bother with a little joke on a monday morning? They're having a rough enough time already, just like you. Why ask your friend how his kids are? If there's something wrong with them, he'll tell you, he's your friend.

There are parts that never struck me before, like how the need to not pussyfoot around issues might be visible in institutions. like the part where strong beers and spirits are sold by the state network, the beautifully named Alko.

They issue the almost 3 months long day (welcome to Nuorgam!) in the summer, but don't mention what Roman Schatz calls The night between Nowember and February in his book "From Finland with love".

Lonely Planet also, to my great joy, brought up the topic of Rally-driving and F1. They only explained the phenomenon, and didn't try to find the reason behind why finns love cars. Schatz refers to why finns are good at, say f1, as a national tendency to be suicidal. We are good at anything that one can do alone and that might kill you.

'Nuff said. I haven't read all of Lonely Planet Finland yet, but I think I'll take a break to check out what they have to say about The Maldives. If you ever get a chance to read either author's books about Thousandlakez you'll probably enjoy yourself. The Schatz book is a funnier but equally true.

Tons of food. 2 sets of parental units visited, siblings included. Heeps and heeps of presents. No way I was this good of a girl. Hundreds of km:s traveled. Grandparents hugged, 2 sets. Elve caught red-handed (I'll post a pic of it later).

That's the short version of our christmas. The long version includes ham at his parents, and a smoked turkey at mine. 6 different dishes of fishes (teehee) and lots of other great stuff like different casseroles and moose-meat-balls. We both ate and drank like it would be the last time we saw food again.  But then again, Sami lost 1,5kg by just sleeping 8 hours, so the food was probably much needed...

I got a ton of stuff. I didn't wish for practically anything but people got me piles of things for christmas. Sami gave me a pair of skis (blue ones!), ski-socks, ski-underwear, ski-shoes. All as blue as they come. It was a really great present, because I used to love to ski as a kid, but then I grew 15 cm in a year, a few years in a row, so there was no point in buying new stuff, and then it kinda just went by. I probably don't know how to ski anymore, but I'll sure as hell try!

When we get some snow.

Mom gave me useful advice when I txt-messaged her (because we spent the 24th at work and with Sami's parents). She told me to be careful not to fall in yellow snow. I <3 my parental unit.

Sami also gave me some fluffy slippers and a book that was titled something along the lines of "how not to kill all your houseplants in a week". Because that's something I rule at. Right now our houseplants consist of 2 dried-up cactii and a masochistic Gardenia I've had for about 6-7 years. It just won't curl up and die no matter what I do. Although after spending the summer camping in the gentle care of my mother, it has started to show signs of letting go. You should never have taught it there are such things as fertilizer, Mom!

Finally, Sami gave me long, red underwear. And a matching shirt. In case the Frostman remembers to do his job sometime.

His parents gave me 3 books and a pair of pink gloves. My parents gave me a steam-iron (funny ha ha), tickets to Cirque du Soleil, a tankful of gas for our new car and a digicamera. The camera's awesome, although I didn't get to it for the first half hour after unwrapping it: my dad also thought it was awesome.

It has a touch-screen and tons of programs  have no clue how to use, but the coolest thing is a travel-guide. You can pick a country and they have the most visited places, say China -> Beijing and then get some info and a few choice pics about the place. It also recommends good sights to see and has some info about those too. I thought it was a great idea, since you're gonna take your camera traveling with you anyway!

My sis gave me a cd full of christmas-music and some chocolate santas. They're incredibly skillfully made, but they're not gonna survive a week in my care. No matter how much I'm gonna try to restrain myself, I know I'll just accidentally inhale them after a maximum self-control-period of 2 days. Joni got me the first season of American Dad (incredibly funny, go watch it. Now.) and a pot of Phish Food. Happiness!

Finally, I got Roman Schatz's Euro. Twice. I thought it showed how well my near and dear ones knew me, but Mom thought (probably more accurately) it only showed that I had mentioned it enough times.

Before christmas I didn't think I'd really need anything, but I loved everything and it's all coming to good use. Especially the phish food.

All in all I was really impressed with the thought people had put into the presents. Like for instance Sami hunting down all of Helsinki just to get a pair of blue (!) skis. My parents gave me a black camera, because black kinda runs in the family as far as the coloring of anything goes. The books, the chocolates, everything! We got selected teas from Tapsa, and he'd gotten us some white tea which Sami loves, Jasmine tea that I love, and finally those flower-tea-things that open up in the cup. Everything I got was something I really loved and was really happy to receive, and the colors I would've chosen too!

I really hope you had a good one too.

Right now we're preparing for tomorrows extremely-late-housewarming/birthday-party. The master of the house turns a quarter of a century (yeah, I refuse to say "25" because that sounds way older) and we're having about 20 people come over. Only family, but apparently ours is a big one.

After that we're traveling to Düsseldorf to celebrate new year, so if any of y'all are in Germany, give me a call and we'll have some Bolly! Or something cheaper.

Ok, so here goes, after this I'll try to shut up about him.

Dear sexy tall bearded tall hotness Roman,

My one-sided relationship with you started a few years back. My brother told me about this book:

Brother: "It's really funny, it's called From Finland With Love"

Me: "Oh God, another guidebook's just what this country needs. I know about Lapland enough to not want to read some douchebag write more about it."

B: "No, you should read it, it's really funny. It has a finnish side and an english side for foreigners. It's written by this german guy, Roman Schatz and.."

Me: "hah. That's rich, what's his real name?"

B: "That's it."

Me: "You're kidding, right?"

And that was it. You had me at "Finns fear high cholesterol more than they do WW 3". After a while I read an interview with you in my hometown paper. You apparently sat there drinking raw Koskenkorva. That's already all a girl needs, but then I saw your picture in another interview. Oh, the manliness of a 3,5m tall german with stubble.

I seemed to bump into you everywhere. You had me giggling when you bought "ein stück Obstkuchen" in German 1. I almost met you in ÄhlämSähläm, but I had to cancel my participation in "The loveliest finnish girl" (hey, they offered a 2000 travelling gift card as first price. And I am, in fact, lovely. At times.) due to a cold that prevented me from going ice swimming for your cameras.

You wrote a second book, and I purchased it too. Laughing all the way to where I worked last summer (yes, I'm so nerdy that I read while I walk. Nowadays only if my mp3-player doesn't work, but still). You Danced With The Stars (not well, but who's perfect) and gave interviews.I was entertained, I had just moved in with the man of my dreams. But life is like a box of chocolates, so I almost fell of my bike when you strolled towards me that one morning on my way to work. Oh my God, what a coincidence!

The second time I saw you on your apparently frequent morning walks in da hood I almost hit some poor Indian diplomat's car. After this I started expecting to see you walk around, and congratulated myself on the excellent beginning of my stalking career. All of a sudden, you were everywhere. I never asked for your autograph because I realized if I ever tried to talk to you all I'd get out of my system is "umm....can I...umm... You're hot!". My Mom, amused as ever by my pitiful existence, suggested I'd go borrow a cup of sugar from you. I can just imagine what that scenario would've been like...

"Hi, could I borrow a cup of sugar from you?"

"sure, here you go. You new to this neighbourhood?"

"No, I live in Sörnäinen (about 4 km away). Thanks!" (While pouring the sugar into a Minigrip-bag for safekeeping and worshipping).

So, dear Roman, you remain aloof. And just as engaged to somebody else as I am. Still, with this long, disturbing post I'd like to wish you well, and just say you are my favourite writer. And my Demi Moore.  And one day I'll find the courage to leave you a bottle of Koskenkorva by your door as a thanks for all the laughs.

P.S. Sami, baby, I still love you, the wedding's still on. No worries.

Just a few days until my german exam. Why is it such a big deal?

Because it's one of the three (3) school exams I have left to do in this life! Don't spoil it by throwing me a "life is a neverending test"-line, it's the third last one, period. I've done hundreds and hundreds (if not millions, gazillions) of tests during all of my years of different levels of schooling but only now, when they can be counted with the fingers on my right hand (because I'm right-handed, that's why) has the Fear of Tests evaporated. It took some years, but now, today, I can walk head held high, fearless, in my new, sexy boots (black, 3 inch stiletto heels, from Bianco, 69e) into the exam and not really care about the outcome. I know I have to get at least a 2 (on a scale from 1-5, 1 sucking, 5 not) to be able to continue, but so what?

That's another funny thing though. If the scale is 1-5, then why do I have to get at least a 2 to continue? Couldn't you just raise the bar to at least 75% correct in order to pass? Getting a 1 only helps me throught my next, last german course because by then I won't have to continue. But if I get it into my head that I, at some point would like to (I won't, don't worry, it's all hypothetical) continue to the fourth (!) course, I'd have to take the test all over again. That's just stupid.

I found the best t-shirt ever, it's a Happy Bunny shirt but I couldn't order it because they only had "one size/Medium fits all!". It doesn't. They don't make it for 1,75m scandinavians. Anyway, the Happy Bunny-shirt had (obviously) the bunny printed on it with the text "You're funny. Looking". So if anyone finds it in Adult Sizes, mail me one. I'll gladly pay you. There's just nothing I wouldn't do to insult random people. Just remember, if it's ridiculously expensive, don't bother, I have yet to ovulate Fabergé eggs.

I almost forgot, since somebody has already asked me what I wan't for christmas. and I answered "Roman Schatz" "I don't know", here's a list, made by Eartha Kitt.

Yes, it's warmer!

It was as low as one (1) degrees over here, so when the temperature has climbed back up to 8-9 degrees, I feel like breaking out the bikini.

My brother was at our place and me, him and Juhani went out on saturday. They served 1l pints of beer at the officer's club and since none of us had ever gone to Oktoberfest (where they serve similar pints), we decided to make Upinniemifest a reality. Which eventually led to me being royally drunk. Good times though!

Not much else has been going on, apart from the ever-so-lovely Roman Schatz (who still hasn't called...) coming out with a new book: Euro. Yes, I would like to see Santa Claus placing it under my christmas tree. More subtle hints later. He was on tv a few days back by the way, Interviewing himself in "Me, myself and I". Lots of stubble, very hot. I know you think I'm a bit disturbed because of my tiny little schatz-obsession, but let me just say: Growl...

It'll only be a few weeks, actually less, until The Relationship kicks into high gear again and I have to admit I'm a bit nervous. It's been such a long time and I'm not sure I'll even recognize Sami when he gets off the plane. I mean, he'll probably be coffee-coloured because of the 2 months in the sun. He'll probably have a beard unlike anything I've ever seen him trying to grow on his face before. The military doesn't exactly encourage facial hair... For all I know I'll be expecting a hairy, black dude who's probably ready for rehab since they've been out partying every week. Mostly I'm nervous about what our life will be like during the first few weeks. I'll obviously have to come back to Turku again as every week before, so we'll get a break from each other after just a few days. It'll still take a lot of getting used to having another person spending 24 hours of his day in this apartment I'm used to tread in all by myself.  Just remember:

Noli turbare circulus meos!

Can you believe it's october already? And not just october, but halfway through it too! Where did my year go? Sure, I've done a lot, we've done a lot and generally lots has just been going on, but why has it all gone by so fast? Spring just flew by while I was working on my essay for my bachelor's degree, summer went by working, and here we are, practically all the way through autumn. If you'd wanna be overly theoretical with it, autumn has kind of gone by since the first snow has already arrived (and melted) in great parts of the country. Soon it'll be colder than anything I want to imagine again. -30 (+wind) just makes me hate my ancestors. Why, oh why, couldn't you guys settle for Greece? Nooo, you had to make it all the way up to Thousandlakez just to find out that it wasn't worth it, then be too lazy to turn around (and head back for greece or any other of the warmer countries!). Lucky for me Roman Schatz made the same mistake a few thousand years later. Makes it a lot easier to start stalking him. I know, I know, I'll shut up about him soon. I'll just have to get it out of my system by posting it on the web for everyone to see sometime soon. 

 P.S. Dear Left Knee.

You suck.

You suck hard and you don't even suck well.

For the last few days I've noticed we live so far out in The Woods that I can't even post anything on Vox whenever I want to. I don't have anything to say every day, but talk about living far out.....

Since my birthday is stalking me just around the corner, I thought I'd tell you a few things you may, or may not, know about me. You may or may not also be interested in any of these things but that's just the beauty about blogs. I get to write about things up close and personal: Me!

I'm a Libra/Scorpio, since I'm born on a day that is constantly either the last day of getting to be a Libra, or the first one of being a Scorpio. Usually I just pick the horoscope that promises more money and tall, dark & handsome men. Although I've had a person look me straight up and down and declare me a Scorpio. Good enough for me!

Being a native of the bilingual Finland, I am bilingual. Though not Finnish-Swedish even if both of my native tongues are finnish and swedish. Noone of my family has ever come to this country from Sweden. The fennomaniacs of the early last century made it illegal for immigrants to participate in teaching in finnish schools, and so a swedish school was the only option. That's how we all got mixed into this soup.

Not being by any means swedish, I am still a mix-up of nationalities. A lot of me is Finnish, a lot Karelian, about 1/4 Italian, with just a dash of German. I don't speak any German apart from what I'm trying to teach myself at the University, and the only thing Italian about me is my huge nose.

I have 6,5 piercings. the 0,5 is one in my ear that has grown shut on one side but is still open on the other. The rast are in my ears and one in my bellybutton.

I have also enjoyed the oh-so-trendy-scarification. By (apparently) being the first one in the world who has a jaw that tends to dislocate and then start growing shut, I've had the pleasure of undergoing 2 operations. Both to the head. This has resulted in a total of 23 stitches, of which 22 are located on the right side of my face. The scar is about 15 cm, so all you people scaring tiny heartagrams on your arms can suck it. I have to admit that the surgeon was so talented that you can't even see the scar unless I tell you it's there. And half of it is covered now that the hair's grown back. Which brings us to the next point:

I've been partially bald. I've also had short hair, long hair, seriously long hair, stupid hair, boy hair and funny hair. I've had hair in every color except blonde. I liked dark purple or flaming red most, but my Mom thought I looked like and easter witch.

I speak finnish, swedish, english, trying to learn Deutsch. I also know a few signs of the finnish sign language. And it being finnish, I know a lot of swear words, including two ways to sign F***. Ok, so one is F*** as in the actual reproductive organ, the other is F*** You. Not the international version though, it's a lot more subtle. And I'm sure no other sign language has put so much effort into its curses.

I'm, at times, extremly hyperactive. I get restless if I don't have anything to do.

I'm a huge flirt. Which comes in handy because The Woods, where we live, Is a military area. I constantly have to remind me I'm probably a few years older than the little boys running around because of their compulsory 1-year military service.

I have the biggest uniform fetish. It's huuuuuuge.

I love Roman Schatz . I think he's just the sexiest piece of german gluteus maximus there is. Even before he was on "dances with the stars". Thank God he couldn't dance because that would've totally destroyed his hot macho bear-image (might be it's all in my head). Roman Schatz is like Sean Connery. They're both incredibly sexy although they're pushing 400. Call me!

I've never had a nickname because my actual name is so short. People tend to call me by my last name, because Finns like to pronounce r:s and k:s. They're the Manly Letters.

My fiancée (gay word) calls me Honey. Since I'm the kind of person who could live on hugs (and chocolate) alone, I love any kind of attention. Although I must admit, Blueberry Pantie is seriously starting to grow on me too.

As you've probably guessed, narcissism is no stranger to me. I think a healthy dose of it would do us all good. Thinking you're the prettiest, best, sexiest, most talented or whatever does show. There is a line between "healhty" and "ridiculous" though. I hope I don't cross it.

I don't enjoy spending a lot of time alone. I like to hang out with my friends, and I'm still stunned there are people who stand out with me for extended periods of time.

I'm currently studying for a second degree at University. I'm a Bachelor(ette) of Pharmacy, and currently I'm studying to be a Master of Sciences in Economics.

I used to practice competetive swimming. Other sports I've tried include handball, kung fu, kickboxing. I've also played the piano as a kid. Nowadays my hobbies include diving with The Future Husband, and sometimes getting of the couch. Not too much though, it's hard work!

As opposed to many girls, and an increasing number of men: I can't stand cider. Blah. Beer is liquid bread, It's good for me. Other than cider, I don't usually "spit in the glass" (don't know if it's an international saying), and my liver is in quite competetive shape.

I have siblings. 2 of them. And a parental unit.

I also have asthma, so that rules out the pets.

And smoking. Nowadays.

I hate horror films because I'm too much of a pussy to look at them without losing my nights sleep. I also try to stear clear of the Finnish films because they're just incredibly bad. Iäve watched Rukajärven Tie (the road to Rukajärvi), a film about the war between Finland and Russia and that was an exception. The last Finnish film I've seen is the one Sami had a part in. It's called Haaste Taistelusukeltajaksi - Combat Divers. It was a documentary made for Yle, a Finnish network, but it was so wildly popular that they made it to a movie. You can catch a glimpse of the first part "Sorsanpojat - Ducklings" here

That's about it, I think.

More if I come up with anything ;)