Jenni's blog

Master of Science (econ.)

nobody@vox.com(Jenni) — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 04:31:39 -0700

Yes, bitches!

I'm done, through, finito!

The language advisors dropped the key to the door that leads out of the halls of academia, and now I'm off like a prom-dress!

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Don't Eat Yellow Snow

nobody@vox.com(Jenni) — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 22:45:13 -0700

..or how not to write a thesis.

This little book of mine (book! mine!) has been the cause of a lot of stress, a lot of times when the house looked like trolls lived here and I didn't clean, and a lot of "could you put it on mute, I'm trying to write!".

Right now things are good. I've stumbled across the halls of academia, and the walls of academia have been headbutted quite a few times. Now, I've found an exit-sign. There's only this one, big Language Advisor who is stopping me from running through the door by dangling the keys just out of my reach.

Language Advisors might still dropkick my thesis, but otherwise it is approved. So I thought I'd share with you how not to work this baby, since I know at least a few of my friends who sporadically read this still have this gorgeousness to look forward to. It's not that difficult, but you need to recognize some little things that guide you on your way. I didn't.

The key is to read your comments when you get the text back:

"Is this relevant for your study?"

Trust me, it isn't.Don't try to write about how, or why, this is relevant to your study, because that little phrase up there is academic for "this sucks. Make it go away."

"Why is this relevant for your study?"

Don't mix this one up with the first phrase. Here, you still have a little lifeline left. What you need to do now is write one or two phrases that start with "This information is key to my study because...", like below:

Some argue that bellybutton-lint is just trash. Researchers A and B have stated that bellybutton-lint might, in fact, save the earth. This is important to keep in mind while we further study the claim of C, who states that lint removed from bellybuttons is an excellent source of material for clothes

Or something like that.

"I don't understand the connection here"

Because there is none. That phrase means "this is poo" and you need to cut that argument out of the text.

These are a few sure giveaways, but remember to address each comment. when it says "discuss!" and you didn't they're just gonna keep on writing it up again and again and again. And if you feel bad killing your darlings, ie. cutting away text you've already writte, don't. They're just letters in a row.

Also, if you try to hide something into the text, like 16 pages of the letter K, you might want to rethink it. They will read the text eventually and find it. There's no place to hide.

It will suck. A lot, and several times. You go in and expect them to give you a standing ovation and they demonstrate that look! It doesn't even burn well! But just take it up the tailpipe and fix it. They are, after all, experts. You're not the first M.Sc.-student they've had writing a thesis, and you won't be the last. Editing text according to someone else's preferences is never fun and you might feel like the text really isn't yours anymore. Not true. It still is.

And writing a thesis might be compared to what I hear giving birth is like (minus the actual physical pain). It takes about nine months to finish (at the very least), sometimes it goes well but a lot of times you'd give anything to get to stop doing it. But still, once you have the finished product in your hands and can claim it as your own, you forget everything that sucked while making it.

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A Celebration Of All The Silly Things I Wore During The Eighties And Nineties

nobody@vox.com(Jenni) — Thu, 29 May 2008 22:37:40 -0700

Less than an hour to the diploma-thing with the champagne and strawberries where I get my bachelor's papers in this. This will most likely be the last event of this kind in my life. And so, as a woman, I started to think about all the funny stuff I've worn to events like this.

The thing that strikes me most now is one time when I was about 10 years or a little younger, was the coolness that was detachable collars. I don't know if anyone else remembers them but they were these white, lacy things that Mom buttoned up behind the neck and you could oh, so easily wear them with anything, thus making any shirt or dress ever so festive. They were, in my opinion, the prettiest thing ever. I was like a princess.

I think the last time I wore something bright was at age 12, when I graduated from the 6th grade and wore yellow pants and an equally yellow vest with a bunch of flowers on them.

Then, somewhere in the nineties when I graduated from the 9th grade (at age 15-16) I wore the coolest thing I had ever seen in my life. A white, clingy, long skirt and a top, with this fluttery blue shirt on. To top it off I wore the coolest shoes ever: shiny white leather strap sandals with what is now referred to as "a stripper heel". Yeah, too bad there aren't any pictures.

At my graduation, 18 years old, the black phaser was full on. A long, black dress. But I did have a bright red shirt with sleeves that I could pull on me if it became cold. It didn't, and I was dressed in black. Happy as a clam. And drunk as ever by the end of it. We had a lot of guests and I never got the time to eat any of the delicious food we served until everyone had arrived. And toasting with bubbly with about 80-90 people and eating nothing in between makes a girl smile a lot wider in the pics that were taken towards the end of my party.

And when I graduated from pharmacy there was no "graduation". They sent us the diplomas per mail, our license to act as pharmaceutical personnel came per mail, and we got to celebrate by coughing up the stamp-tax on the license (78e). This, I think, is part the reason why it seems so odd to celebrate a degree now. And part because, as I wrote earlier, I wrote my bachelor's dissertation a year ago and am currently waiting for the language center to approve my master's thesis. Anyway.

Here I am, at what will probably be the last party of this sort for me. Dressed in all black. A black shirt and a black, pin-striped skirt. But I did mark the occasion with bright red satin killer heels. If only you could see me now.

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I Wouldn't Be Drunk Otherwise,But My Thesis Supervisor Forced Me...

nobody@vox.com(Jenni) — Wed, 28 May 2008 12:43:36 -0700

"..right. So can I write the final essay (a paper we have to write about the master's thesis which proves we've actually written the whole thing all by ourselves) on friday morning? And then hand it in whenever it comes back from the bookbinder's in june?"

"Sure. You don't have to give it in all at once and... wait. You're taking out your bachelor's papers now too, right?"

"Yeah, I found out I could do that too without using up any credits for the bachelor's degree that I'd need for a master's in the old study system. And if the language center approves the thesis now I'll get my master's papers in july"

"So why aren't you coming to the official graduation at 9 on friday? The dean gives a speach and there's champagne and all. Are you somewhere else earlier in the morning or...?"

"Oh no, not at all. I just don't want... to...g..."

"JENNI! Oh, come on! You're graduating! You're coming to the party!"

"But it's just for the bachelor's degree! I wrote that dissertation a year ago! And I graduated when I got out of high school years ago! And I can get wasted on champagne all by myself"

"Oh don't be stupid! You've just finished a huge load of work and you deserve to celebrate! This is a milestone in your life!"

"My butt is a milestone and It's just a bachelor's degree now. I already have one in pharmacy! And that faculty celebrated by sending us all our diplomas per mail"

"No. It's settled. You're coming. You're not getting to write the essay until the celebration is over and you've had a glass of champagne and some strawberries. 9 am on friday."

"....groan.... What do I have to wear to this fucking event?"

"You know. Clean, neat, festive clothes."

"Dress and heels it is."

"Oh, it'll be fun. You'll get a rose!"

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Things On Tuesday

nobody@vox.com(Jenni) — Tue, 27 May 2008 02:37:33 -0700

Loooooooooove:

I get to take the thesis to the bookbinders and give it in! After 9 months of work I get to give in something that has been approved by the Heavyweighters Of Academia, and I can tell people that I have actually written a thesis. I've written a goddamn book! I'm so happy that all the blood in my veins has turned into glitter and I'm pretty sure this gives me reason enough to bathe in champagne.

And buy shoes.

So sweetheart, now you can breathe again too, because the next time I'm stressed it will actually be because of my period and it won't come around 24/7. Although I still suggest you don't ask me if I'm menstruating when I'm pissed because that would give me cause enough to start wearing a "It's not PMS, It's you"-shirt. What I'm trying to say is: sweetheart, more relaxed female at home. You no longer have to lock me inside the bathroom with a sixpack of beer to calm me down.

That's about it for this tuesday people. I still haven't won the lottery and I got an e-mail from my surgeon suggesting woman should haul her ass back in sooner than planned for the third injection because the knee seems to be ~~completely fucked up~~ a wee bit more complicated of a case than we thought.

But now I can't be bothered because there is too much sunshine and pink unicorns on my heart-shaped cloud.

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On Writing A Thesis

nobody@vox.com(Jenni) — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 08:47:17 -0700

One of the loveliest quotes ever. It wasn't originally created for describing the work that goes into a master's thesis, but let's not let that stop us.

"When I hear people talking about writer's block I only get annoyed. You write, that's it. Do you think plumbers get plumber's block?"

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The Pain Of Creation

nobody@vox.com(Jenni) — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:26:31 -0700

I'm feeling the need to open up once more.

The thesis-thing is going along pretty well and it shouldn't be many more months left. I'm 75 pages strong and aiming at 80, but there will be a lot of re-writing to do. And finally, after more or less straight-forward arguing I am on the same page with my thesis-supervisor.

I think the hardest part about writing academic papers is admitting that you need help. The second hardest would be when she returns my textual love-child with little notes on the side. Like "this is poo" and "you suck".

But the thing that has led us to where we are is once again the dominant feature of my life and the reason to why I am ~~such a whiny bitch~~ sometimes a little temperamental: pain.

The knee is still waiting to be pointed at with sharp objects and the docs could HURRY UP WITH MY MRI-CALL! So I still am in pain. I don't mind it that much and it is a part of everyday life, and I thought I was coping pretty well until one of my friends kindly pointed out that my appearance bares a striking resemblance to feces. This is how I realized that maybe, just maybe, waking up 5-6 times every night when I adjust the knee in my sleep and grinding mostly soft stuff and the painkillers I have a love affair with right now with my chew-bits might not be the equivalent of "a good nights rest and a sturdy meal". Imagine that.

So I discussed with my supervisor that this is probably one of the main reasons that the text I produce is ~~utter bullshit~~ not of the highest quality she is used to see in my papers, and she presented me with two options. 1) We wait until everything is knifed up and sawed in half and hope it was for the better and then continue or 2) we finish it really fast now and try not to care about the grade it receives.

Guess which one I took. One of the main reasons is that I study according to the old system. The new system would be the implementation of the Bologna Process, which renews the credit system you get for studies. And oh, there is this little other thing. Bologna won't allow students to get credits for previous exams. I have a previous exam from pharmacy and have used it to get credits for my minor and "other supplementary studies". This makes up for 1/4 of my current exam because the old system allows me to use these studies as a supplement. So: when the accomodation period runs out in 1.8.2008 and everyone is forcefully transferred from the old, safe system to the new system, a fourth of my studies that I have gotten for free go Poof!

And I figured because I have a lot of work experience and would've studied a 4-5 year exam in 3 years if I graduate this spring, my possible future employer (hire me, I'm open!) would probably not give my master's thesis the time of the day. And let's face it the phrase "Soooo... did you bring your thesis with you? Can I read it? Can I? I must read it before I can hire you!" is seldom heard in job interviews. My 2 previous employers haven't even bothered to look at my diplomas or pharmaceutical license.

So keep yer thumbs up and fingers crossed because we're goin' in the deep end with this one!

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Day 3 Of My Vacation

nobody@vox.com(Jenni) — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 10:47:59 -0700

Today I got my treatment-papers from my internet-doc. Aka Dad. I phoned him, he mailed me.

I need to stretch my knee even more than I have, and in a month or so when I'll be back in Turku I'll get a cortisone-shot into it. I <3 Cortisone/lidocaine, it would seem. After that one I'm up to a total amount of 4 shots to various joints. I'm starting to think the factory might have been a little sloppy on the production line.

And if it still continues to re-appear like this without me even jogging they'll throw a scalpel at me. My vote's on me getting the knife, but if you wanna vote against me I'll need you to show me some cash.

Apart from that we had a wonderful movie-day. We watched Evan Almighty yesterday, and I have to say it holds my favourite scene ever. The one where Evans wife asks him if he thinks God might've meant like a flowod of information or something instead of an actual flood, and Evan replies: "If he did, then I'm gonna be sooooo pissed."

I just can't stop laughing!

Anyway, today we saw Cougar Club (not so great) and Big Trouble (amusing). We also bought Memento (which is really good), X-men 3 (Enough with the damn rubber suits already) and an Auschwitz docu-movie. I'm really excited about the Auschwitz-thing but since it's 4 hours long I might save it for someday when I'm sick or something. I have this weird fascination with WWII things, especially the concentration camps. I think everyone has this need inside them to understand exactly what has happened and how it did. It really boggles the mind when you try to understand how, ultimately, people did that to people just the same.It's this weird feeling of disgust and fascination, and I'd really want to go to Auschwitz someday. I am with other people in that I don't think we should ever forget, but sadly I think we have. Not calling certain things in ~~darfur~~ certain parts of the world genocide is beyond me. So I while I can't change a whole lot that's been done and still is deing done, I try to feed my need for information and make sure at least I don't forget. And if we ever have kids they're gonna have the oddest rainy-day-movies in the neighborhood.

And finally, today I re-wrote the intro to my ~~thesis~~ heep of needless paper, 6 pages!

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"Winter"

nobody@vox.com(Jenni) — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 23:49:43 -0800

Ok, the 1st of february.

A few days ago we had a helluva snowfall. Followed by equally much rain. It's really, actually february and we've had no winter. Ok, so last "summer" was a rainy bitch of 3 months too, but last winter I remember this time of year giving me a regular -25 C. I remember it well because Sami gave me thermo-pants so that I wouldn't accidentally freeze solid while prancing around in my oh so warm jeans. Didn't help much that I tried to explain that while I didn't have time to practice Ice Swimming, this was my way of doing it while walking to the university.

It's nice not to have to break a lot of bones (knock on wood) because of all the ice hidden under the snow, and it's nice to not have to spend 20 minutes to dig your car out from under all the snow, only to discover that you've accidentally been toiling away, helping the neighbour while your van is the one on the left.

But I miss the snow. The cold is manageable, I've had 24 years worth of practice. Snow lights up the environment and because we don't have any, the dark months seem even darker.

But there's lots of time to write on my master's thesis. I've noticed that I've gotten to a second question-period in my life. The first one being at about 3 years old when Mom&Dad had to answer a lot of "Why do you do that"s. While I'm trying to get a grip on the PhD-students life around here, the interviews raise a lot of questions. For instance, why, if the contract stipulates that you should have 2/3 of your work time at the university dedicated to working on your PhD research, is it made impossible for most of them because they have to teach so much? It was never included in my interviews, but I know that a lot of the doctoral students eventually take some prescription medication to handle the pressure and all the stress of publication, research etc. Why is it so widely accepted that the job is so tought that it's only natural to cave in and start anti-depressants? How can it be "standard procedure" to break down under the workload?

Those, and a lot of other questions concerning other areas of life have started to boggle my mind, and a very few of them have answers. I'd like to fix everything I question, and can't understand why noone else has already fixed it.

Difficult, difficult.

But I'm approximately halfway through! It might not be the thesis of the year, but just passing is good enough for me. I can't wait to work full time (and actually have vacations) !

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Hitting My Head Into The Walls Of Academia

nobody@vox.com(Jenni) — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 00:57:18 -0800

One of my favourite phrases is "wandering through the halls of academia". I don't know why. I suppose it embodies all the pompousness and unattainability of academic education, and kind of brings it all up to an accurate level of snob.

I still like it.

Right now, however, I am far from wandering through the halls of academia. I'm more like the 2-toothed cousin from the country, stumbling inside the halls of academia suffering from a terrible hangover due to moonshine and am now standing in the corner of the halls of academia, picking my nose. I have 15 pages of serious academic text due this sunday. I'm working tomorrow and will spend a fair amount of sunday driving home to Mom & Dad. This all basically means ~~I'm screwed~~ I might have to put in a bit of effort in the whole matter. I guess I'll make it happen, miraculos things happen under pressure. Like diamonds. And avalanches and cave-ins. But mostly diamonds.

And here I am, blogging away while I should be reading "the joys and cursings of ph.d studies" by Kivinen et al.. Now, we might not all know how to spell "nucular" but let's all get together now and spell: v-o-x-a-h-o-l-i-c.

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