8 posts tagged “things on tuesday”

..or how not to write a thesis.

This little book of mine (book! mine!) has been the cause of a lot of stress, a lot of times when the house looked like trolls lived here and I didn't clean, and a lot of "could you put it on mute, I'm trying to write!".

Right now things are good. I've stumbled across the halls of academia, and the walls of academia have been headbutted quite a few times. Now, I've found an exit-sign. There's only this one, big Language Advisor who is stopping me from running through the door by dangling the keys just out of  my reach.

Language Advisors might still dropkick my thesis, but otherwise it is approved. So I thought I'd share with you how not to work this baby, since I know at least a few of my friends who sporadically read this still have this gorgeousness to look forward to. It's not that difficult, but you need to recognize some little things that guide you on your way. I didn't.

The key is to read your comments when you get the text back:

"Is this relevant for your study?"

Trust me, it isn't.Don't try to write about how, or why, this is relevant to your study, because that little phrase up there is academic for "this sucks. Make it go away."

"Why is this relevant for your study?"

Don't mix this one up with the first phrase. Here, you still have a little lifeline left. What you need to do now is write one or two phrases that start with "This information is key to my study because...", like below:

Some argue that bellybutton-lint is just trash. Researchers A and B have stated that bellybutton-lint might, in fact, save the earth. This is important to keep in mind while we further study the claim of C, who states that lint removed from bellybuttons is an excellent source of material for clothes

Or something like that.

"I don't understand the connection here"

Because there is none. That phrase means "this is poo" and you need to cut that argument out of the text.

These are a few sure giveaways, but remember to address each comment. when it says "discuss!" and you didn't they're just gonna keep on writing it up again and again and again. And if you feel bad killing your darlings, ie. cutting away text you've already writte, don't. They're just letters in a row.

Also, if you try to hide something into the text, like 16 pages of the letter K, you might want to rethink it. They will read the text eventually and find it. There's no place to hide.

It will suck. A lot, and several times. You go in and expect them to give you a standing ovation and they demonstrate that look! It doesn't even burn well! But just take it up the tailpipe and fix it. They are, after all, experts. You're not the first M.Sc.-student they've had writing a thesis, and you won't be the last. Editing text according to someone else's preferences is never fun and you might feel like the text really isn't yours anymore. Not true. It still is.

And writing a thesis might be compared to what I hear giving birth is like (minus the actual physical pain). It takes about nine months to finish (at the very least), sometimes it goes well but a lot of times you'd give anything to get to stop doing it. But still, once you have the finished product in your hands and can claim it as your own, you forget everything that sucked while making it.

Loooooooooove:

I get to take the thesis to the bookbinders and give it in! After 9 months of work I get to give in something that has been approved by the Heavyweighters Of Academia, and I can tell people that I have actually written a thesis. I've written a goddamn book! I'm so happy that all the blood in my veins has turned into glitter and I'm pretty sure this gives me reason enough to bathe in champagne.

And buy shoes.

So sweetheart, now you can breathe again too, because the next time I'm stressed it will actually be because of my period and it won't come around 24/7. Although I still suggest you don't ask me if I'm menstruating when I'm pissed because that would give me cause enough to start wearing a "It's not PMS, It's you"-shirt. What I'm trying to say is: sweetheart, more relaxed female at home. You no longer have to lock me inside the bathroom with a sixpack of beer to calm me down.

That's about it for this tuesday people. I still haven't won the lottery and I got an e-mail from my surgeon suggesting woman should haul her ass back in sooner than planned for the third injection because the knee seems to be completely fucked up a wee bit more complicated of a case than we thought.

But now I can't be bothered because there is too much sunshine and pink unicorns on my heart-shaped cloud.

I Love:

The mix that is cortisone and lidocain: I got another injection in my knee today. Since the first one didn't do the trick I'm getting a series of three with the last one next month. I've been told that the second and third injection usually help a lot more than the first, which means surgery can usually be avoided. And I'm really looking forward to getting a whole nights sleep. All this waking up in the middle of the night because of the knee has made me feel a little out of it. Metaphorically speaking I feel like all my fish aren't in the tank. And that some of the plants are probably dead. But there's plenty of leftover food floating around, if you know what I mean.

The thesis: I get to keep my closing seminar within a month! After that all we have to worry about is the people who are doing the spell/language-check on it.  But still! Woop! Woop!

My favourite shirt. You know you have one too.

I Loathe:

The mix that us cortisone and lidocain: It's still a needle, you know. Even if the surgeon kindly told me that he can give me the injection without feeling any pain whatsoever himself. Plus, since, as I always like to tell people, the tendon goes all the way up my ass, I feel like I've had some steel-toe-booted mc-bandit kick me in the thigh. I know it gets a lot better in a few days but right now it sucks. And next month, it'll be another needle. Argh!

The thesis: OMG I have to write 10 more pages within a week and correct a million billion small errors that have somehow slipped in and make a few things more clear and outspoken and check my references and....

Spilling coffee on my newly washed favourite shirt.

Things I Love:

Spring/summer. It's gotten really warm really fast and I'm totally peeing my pants with happiness.

The wall. I think Joni will post some pics of it sooner than I can, and I urge you all who are reading to go check it out. It rocks and I love the pic and the maker to pieces.

Payday being just around the corner

Annika, who has the patience (and looks) of a saint. I'm like Santa on Prozac when I get unleashed and get to go shopping but she is voluntarily with me and is totally zen while I jump around giggling hysterically.

Things I Loathe:

The knee waking me up at nights again. Odd. Might need another cortisone-injection and/or a scalpell, but they'll drag me kicking and screaming to the needle a second time. The tendon goes all the way up to my butt and my leg was numb/sore for 3 days after the last injection.

Cold mornings. Warmth all the time, please.

Things I'm indifferent about:

The thesis. I gave my supervisor the restructured first ~40 pages, and she didn't hate it. She was actually content with it. Because researchers being content usually requires the crusifiction of lesser students I am still treading lightly. I'll write one more analysis, tie it together and send it in by friday and she'll let me know next tuesday if it goes through or if I'll have to wait until next fall. Fingers crossed, I'll let you know. And if she lets it pass then you'll probably see the glow of me because I will be so happy that all the blood in my veins probably turns into glitter.

Things I loathe:

People asking me how the thesis is going. Right now I honestly don't know. I still have no emotional connections with the text and I have no idea whatsoever on what my supervisor's standpoint is. I've become almost as uncomfortable with this question as I have with wedding-questions. It's (almost) up there with "You guys wanna borrow our old decorations and/or buy my old wedding dress and/or leftover glitter from when we made our invitation cards?!". Almost, but not quite.

The joint that cried wolf. I haven't been able to step on it for a week now and I had it ultrasounded today. And it came up that theres nothing wrong with it. I could barely hold still while Doctor-Dad was rolling the ultrasound-stick-thingy over my foot and it came up clean! I got painkillers and I'm not completely convinced. I have noticed that my joints and tendons have a tendency to fake being all good and healthy until they one morning spontaneously combust.

Dad reminding me that even though the ultrasound was clear, Child should not be jumping around in stilettos now, you hear? Damn! I was just gonna wear the satin red ones for the 1st of may lunch!

Me being the only person making a full shift and the evening shift on the last of April. I'm the only student at work and the 1st of may is my party. I don't get to put on my white hat at the ceremony at 18 o'clock on the last of april because I'm at work, I don't get to wear my overalls, don't get to go to any of the parties because they start waaaay before and are in another city. This just sucks incredible amounts of donkeyballs. 

Things I love:

I still kind of like working with the thesis. Were it not for the timeline and general sucking of life, I'd enjoy this really much.

1st of may coming up. I bought balloons and stuff. Fruits and bubbly and things.

A bargain! I bought 2 shirts from Soaked In Luxury that were 70% off! I only paid 29 euros! Combined! And now Sami doesn't have to be soaked in my bank-card-bill :)

Things I loathe:

Vacuuming, cleaning the toilett, washing clothes... I recall specifically asking for a self-cleaningn apartment and now I can't find it under all this dust.

My Master's thesis. Yes I know, boooriiing, but I will be putting that baby up here until it passes. No motivation whatsoever!

My weight spiralling down. I was sick last week and for some reason this usually results in more jaw-clenching by night. For some odd reason it also gets worse every spring no matter what I do, so I've been having a lot of tightness in The Good Ol' Jaw-region. I think it's misplaced again. I mean dislocated. Although I think by now I could probably safely call it misplaced since it clearly doesn't match my other parts. ARGH!

Things I Love:

Having time to clean. It's never fun but it's always fun when you're done. And I can clearly see the results of my work. I Found the floor!

Bacon. I'm not particularly wild about the bacon fat stinking up my kitchen, but the bacon-part rules.

That it's not too cold anymore. I'm ready for summer now!

Things I love:

Not having to work which gives me time to fix the things that need to be fixed with the thesis.

Having time to go for a walk and practice sports.

Tea on tuesday. <3

Choosing our wedding rings which means one less thing to worry about!

Things I loathe:

Realizing that our Digibox didn't record Weeds even though I set it right. For once. Stupid worthless box of components.

That once we've all gotten to terms with the fact that winter just didn't arrive this year and have started to await spring: It snows. Stupid worthless clouds.

That my knee didn't give me a lot of time sleeping last night. Stupid worthless knee.

Things I loathe:

• My thesis-meeting today in which I was crushed. To oblivion.
• Not having enough money to go on a well-needed shopping spree
• "Getting in shape" means I actually have to do something about it.

Things I love:

• Being pulverized on the thesis-meeting means there's only one way to go: up. And that there will be only a few months more of this shit and then I'm done!
• Getting to come home. Eventhough Sami is not home this week, the safety of our own place was much needed today.
• Good food! Not a day goes by that I don't eat great food! Which gets me to the next point:
• Brussel(s?) sprouts! Man, I love them, boiled and salted. Yummy!